In its efforts to catch up with Apple and Google, Microsoft has launched a sexy new silicon robot.
Research revealed that millions of recently-divorced middle-aged men secretly hanker for a domestic goddess that bakes apple pie on a whim and doesn’t remind them of what they’re rubbish at.
Wifebot.1950 comes in a range of 4 personalities: brainy-assertive, neurotic-romantic, ditzy-glamorous and dominatrix. All models will come with advanced cooking, cleaning and humping functionality.
Gary Rogers, 45, lined up for 6 hours to be the first to buy one. ‘I want a product that looks after me 24/7 like my mother used to, who also listens to my ill-conceived political views.’
‘Instead of hiring domestic cleaners, buying TV dinners and paying for sex, I can get all of these in one product. Plus! The shiny silicon curves are so cool.’
Microsoft Head Steve Ballmer confirmed that the company is also working on Fireman.Joe for female customers.