English: Kanye West at the Vanity Fair kickoff...

Kanye West at the Vanity Fair kickoff part for the 2009 Tribeca Film Festival. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Now pay attention Dear Reader, the Kanye is speaking to you.  Close out your iTunes or what-eva-else programs you got runnin’.

I want you to go check out my new album Yeezus, You’ll Buy Anything That’s Celebrity-endorsed.   It’s musical perfection no less; like liquid gold dripping into ya ears.   But if you hate it, it’s because I wanted it like that.   Provocation is how to make those dollar bills stack up.

Ok look, it’s not my best album.   I’m big enough to admit that.  But every 50th buyer gets to hang out with me and Kim for a few minutes while we go shoppin’ one day.   You can  guard us from the Paps or something useful like that.

Oh yeah, I almost forgot.   Kim gave birth this week.   If it hadda been up to me, our baby girl would be called Gucci West-Kardashian, but Kimmy got her way in the end.  A big congratulations to my new Mama.