santas union

Australia in December is hot and the local production line of shopping centre Santas are not happy. More importantly the Union for Shopping Centre Santas is raising concerns about workplace health and safety issues that their members potentially face.

Union spokesperson Robert Claus (all members are entitled to use the Claus surname) is speaking out against the demands of parents and their children that all Santas have to be dressed in a heavy red suit complete with hat, boots and gloves.

“It’s a joke that we are essentially forced to wear a ski suit when the temperature outside is over 30 degrees most days” Claus said.

“Sure we make a good living out of doing this for a month but we go through an extraordinary amount of hardship and then the next 11 months we are forced to fit back into society”

“For those of us that have gone the extra mile to put on the extra weight to look like a legitimate Santa we end up losing that in the sauna like conditions of the suit.”

Parents at a local Westfield Shopping Centre were outraged when they heard of the Union’s plan for their Santas to wear more beach like clothing.

“They are ruining Christmas” decreed one mother of four.

Another mother said, “We queue up for an hour to get a photo with a creepy old man and he will be wearing shorts and flip flops, what is the point? My little boy Jayden can just get that photo with his uncle on Christmas day then.”

Shopping centers around the country have said conditions couldn’t be better for their Santas. The manager for a local shopping mall in the suburbs said:

“We regularly have our air conditioning set to a low level, but at the end of the day, we can’t have the temperature set to arctic conditions for just one person whilst the thousands of other shoppers suffer in their summer clothing.”

Whether we see Australian Santas in shorts and possibly much less – the impasse will no doubt die down again over the next 11 months as the Santa’s start the long haul of carb loading for another hot December in 2014.






About andrewleonard

Present a radio show The Banter (@the_banter) each week where we discuss and pontificate mostly sport but also touch on other observations of what has happened or annoyed us that week.


Culture, News


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