FNDU Christmas Parties

As this year’s office Christmas party season comes to a close, lawyers and HR departments are calling it the biggest and best season ever. The drunken antics of staffers and management alike have led to record numbers of sexual assault and harassment cases, verbal bullying and drug and alcohol offences that will require litigation or mediation.

City legal firm Maurice Blackburn have confirmed that they have put on extra staff to answer the phones in order to secure any potential business as employees look for a way to a quick payout.

Although another smaller firm Yammaril Pratt denied they had authorised for car bumper stickers to be printed with the slogan ‘Regretting an office quick f*&^, now make a quick buck.

“Let’s face it, most men – and it is generally men – ¬†think they become irresistible once they have had a few drinks and think ¬†all the female staff in the office are keen to have their breasts fondled in a dark corner.” said litigation specialist Jayne Stevenson.

It’s not just lawyers who are rubbing their hands together. New Year’s resolutions are being replaced by New Year’s mediations as HR departments have pre-booked all office meeting spaces in January to help mediate disputes between colleagues that arose after one too many at the Christmas party.

HR industry specialist Rodney Howth warned that things can get messy between colleagues at the annual Christmas bash; “We spend most of our waking week with our workmates and a little flirt can often lead to waking up in the wrong bed the next day; but we shouldn’t generalise and say that it is just men at fault here. I work in HR and plenty of ladies have had their hands where they shouldn’t have.”

“With social media and camera phones so prevalent, more and more people are capturing their office Christmas party exploits, however, we would advise that if you don’t want to get caught, then use the appropriate apps – like Snapchat – where anything captured is erased after only a few seconds” advised Howth.

Stevenson on the other hand said: “Obviously if you have flirted with the boss at work all year, then the Christmas party is the time to make it happen, just have your camera ready and make sure you record at the pivotal moment.”

“We can’t sue without evidence as otherwise it’s just one person’s word against the other” she said.

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About andrewleonard

Present a radio show The Banter (@the_banter) each week where we discuss and pontificate mostly sport but also touch on other observations of what has happened or annoyed us that week.

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