Since wine first flowed from Roman goblets to our current binge drinking culture, the search to cure the humble hangover has drifted from one popular remedy to another, but scientists in Tasmania believe they have finally found a cure.

Professor Archie Rose of Tasmania Tech has released a research paper with overwhelming evidence demonstrating that for people who don’t drink they don’t get hangovers.

“The formula is quite simple really, take any man and instead of him consuming a drink with alcohol in it, let him drink only water and softdrink and the result in 100% of cases when the research participants woke up was no hangover” said Professor Rose.

Alcohol companies have rubbished the claims by Professor Rose as ‘dated’ and ‘speculation’.

Fosters spokesperson Lauretta Hill said, “Not everyone who knocks back an ice cold stubby is going to wake up feeling like shit.”

“The fact is if you drink too much the night before there are countless other ways to feel better, bacon and eggs have been a known remedy for years, you can try variations of panadol and there is the time honoured tradition of getting back on it,” continued Hill.

Rose however didn’t want to come across as a boring old scientist and did conclude his paper by saying the side effects of using his hangover cure would be ‘low self esteem, having no friends and a having an increased petrol bill as more and more people would start to use you as their designated driver.’



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About andrewleonard

Present a radio show The Banter (@the_banter) each week where we discuss and pontificate mostly sport but also touch on other observations of what has happened or annoyed us that week.


Culture, News, World


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