Critics are describing the new film as 2014’s biggest turkey, which stars the American actor alongside Kylie Minogue, playing Irwin’s wife Terri.

Aussie Director Baz Luhrman lends his high-camp style to the production with awkward musical numbers and other moments of cringing Australiana.

“It’s like pulling out nose hairs over 90 minutes” said Tom of Surrey Hills.  “Impaling myself on a giant shard of glass while watching the home shopping channel seems like bliss compared to this.”

“With most film trailers, they can really polish up a turd and get you interested.   But this one just looks eye-scratchingly awful” said Emma from Richmond.

Tom Hanks went to great lengths to research his latest role, originally by wearing nothing but khaki shorts for months.

“To replicate his famous energy, I began snorting a cup of methamphetamines every day” said Hanks.  “I even did my own stunts.  Well, I didn’t touch any reptiles of course – I’m not a fucking idiot.”

Crikey! opens in cinemas next month.






Join the conversation! 1 Comment

  1. Today’s satire is tomorrow’s VARIETY headline.


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