Cate Blanchett oscars

Cate Blanchett’s foul language at a post Oscars press conference was merely paying homage to her native Australia where linguists today claim that the word commonly referred to as ‘the F word’ was in fact first used in Australia. 

“Most Australians are not shy in dropping the F-Bomb at any given opportunity” said linguistics specialist Russell Hancock. “After all what the f&*@is the point of having a f&*@ing word if you are not f&*@ing prepared to use it.”

The famous ‘F word’ has been traced back to when Australian Indigenous settlers first arrived by boat to the continent over 40 million years ago. Cave paintings have depicted local tribes people decrying the fact that one of their kids had been bitting by a ^~() snake. These symbols have now been translated to the ‘F word’.

The use of the F word only continued when the first white settlers arrive by boat in the 1700’s. A recent discovery of an early convict’s letter back home read: “That was a f&*@ing long way to come for stealing a loaf of f&*@ing bread.”

Blanchett knew that her press conference was going live on CNN and later told reporters that “In Australia the use of f&*@ is a term of endearment, these seppo’s just need to get over it.”

Another Australian linguistics expert said “At least she didn’t say c$^!, that really would have put the proverbial f&*@ing cat amongst the f&*@ing pidgeons.”

The Australian Prime Minister Tony Abbott’s office failed to provide a comment on the matter, as they said they were “too f&*@ing busy trying to run the f&*@ing country after those labour a#$%holes left us in such a f&*@ed up state.”

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About andrewleonard

Present a radio show The Banter (@the_banter) each week where we discuss and pontificate mostly sport but also touch on other observations of what has happened or annoyed us that week.

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