The Australian government confirmed today that the country would officially return to imperial measurement so as to be in line with the United States of America.
Australian Prime Minister Tony Aboott declared, “For so long now we have been out of sync with our closest ally and that has made bi-lateral discussions difficult.”
“It is about time we fell into line with America on this and the rest of the world really should follow suit” stated the PM.
From April 1st 2014, Australia will return to measuring distances in miles, feet and inches; measuring weights in pounds and ounces ; and measuring the temperature in degrees Fahrenheit.
Mr Abbott also told a media conference: “For so long the US has been derided for not falling into line with the rest of the world on the metric system, but considering they are the leaders of the free world, we really should be following them…. shouldn’t we?”
The Opposition Labor party spokesperson Shaun Callaghan denounced the move, saying it would Australia further back in the dark ages
“The next thing they will want to bring back is dial-up internet and we all know how annoying that dial up noise was.”
The younger Australian public are no strangers to the use of imperial measurements, with sandwich shop Subway offering their sandwiches in either a six inch or a footlong version.
Outside a local Subway restaurant FNDU asked Jason of Elsternwick, whether he was comfortable with Subway using such measurements. He said he regularly used the same terminologies on girls when he was trying to chat them up. When quizzed on what he meant Jason gave us the line he uses most often.
“I can show offer you six inches now, but if we get to know each other you will get to see the whole footlong.”
“After all” he said, “No one says they have 6cm dick, do they.
We we unable check this, but it is likely that in Jason’s case, centimetres offer a more accurate reflection than inches.