Schoolboy drummer James Erikson is disappointed that their band’s female fans are not more tarty, reports indicate.
“The Hellcats won the Cairns District Battle of the Bands, but it’s still the same ugly, un-porkable girls following us. I was sure some of those hot chicks from St Monica’s would totally be into us” Erikson complained.
Lead singer Leo di Silva denies these claims however.
“It’s not the girls, or the band. It’s Jimmy. He’s got no clue. He’s fat, got pimples and won’t even say hello to them.”
“But don’t say I said that though. He’s like 17 and never even, you know, done it.”
When questioned of his experience with the fairer sex, Erikson angrily reported that he’d gotten with ‘heaps of chicks’ when he lived in Brisbane. These reports remain unconfirmed.