New York City, NY
Shares in Murdoch’s News Ltd surged today on the surprise announcement of the purchase of Australian online rag ‘Fake News Down Under’.
“Truth has been sadly lacking in my global media empire. I want to change that” Murdoch confirmed via press release. “The stable of talent and the nous displayed by the FNDU group reminds me of, well, a young me”.
In an unusual move, the Australian Broadcasting Corporation and Fairfax released a joint press release, confirming they are ‘not concerned’ with Murdoch’s new venture into reporting the truth. Surprisingly, the group heads wished Murdoch ‘all the best’ with the takeover. Inside sources report a different story, however.
“We’ve been trying to report on the truth for years now” an senior Fairfax reporter confirmed “But that shit just doesn’t sell news anymore”
Speaking on the condition of anonymity, part-time journalist, coffee-boy and unauthorised representative said that FNDU remains strong on core values, advising that “we will not compromise on hard-hitting articles or journalistic integrity, unless of course there’s dollars on the table. Then we’ll push anyone’s editorial wheelbarrow”.
ASIC records confirm FNDU and the souls of its reporters were sold for $12.50, a six-pack of Victoria Bitter and a postcard, personally signed by Murdoch himself. The cheque is reported to be ‘in the mail’.